I want to talk about avoidance a little bit more and how it’s showing up for me…
I see it all over the place for myself, but it’s showing up in a big way with its good friend shame right now. You see, I’m growing my businesses – my Light Running vibrational healing and my doTERRA essential oils businesses – and to reach more people, it just makes sense to post on Instagram or Facebook. Or send emails to my email list. Or post on my blog. And I really struggle with these.
Okay, I avoid them. And when I post lately, they don’t feel like ME.
And truthfully, it brings up SO much shame.
Here I am, I do my own inner work on a daily (hourly!) basis and I still struggle with shame and avoidance.
(I’ll admit – I’m actually in tears writing this all down. That’s how deep the shame is. )
Anyway, when the shame comes up, I avoid sharing and then I feel defeated. (This is a new awareness as of last week – defeated. And it’s HUGE to face into it.)
But with the work I do, I know how to face into it. Usually that’s in a pretty private way with a few very close friends who support me. And I do the work that helps me shift things.
So I’m going to let go of needing to make sure everything is “right” with this post and whether or not I’m being clear. Whether or not you understand all these things I’m going to share. And I’m going to share with you my process.
Because it’s to remind ME of what I’m doing.
Because even thought I’m in a place of shame and I want to run away and avoid so I don’t feel defeated, I’m actually writing this down. I’m moving through it and working to keep it from defining me.
Okay, here’s my process:
1. I name what I’m feeling. When I start here, I can move on to finding specific tools. If I can’t name it, I journal (or just write myself an email) until it bubbles up.
2. I find an oil that supports releasing that belief/emotion. I have an app (essential emotions reference app) and a book (emotions and essential oils) that I refer to. (You can post below if you want a suggestion from me)
3. I give myself permission to FEEL that emotion. The oil gives me space around it so that I don’t get sucked in. If I can’t afford to feel it at the moment, I find a TV show or Movie that brings that feeling to the surface more. I know I can’t let go of the emotion unless I’m willing to FEEL it.
4. I pull cords. I pull cords on the emotion, the belief or the person or situation that brought it to the surface.
5. I’m kind to myself. This is SO important!! I love that part of me that feels ashamed/angry/sad/etc. I talk to that part of me. “Andi, it is totally understandable that you feel ashamed/angry/sad/etc! It does feel pretty crummy to feel this way – and that’s okay that you do. You are safe to feel and let go of those emotions. You don’t have to wallow and beat yourself up.” Whatever I want to hear, I say it to myself. Sometimes out loud when no one is around.
6. I am patient with this emotion or belief. As much as I’d love it to move out quickly, sometimes it takes a while. I talk to friends who don’t feed my belief, people who can hold the space for me if I’m crying or angry without feeling rocked.
7. I find gratitude. I am grateful for the small things. Sometimes I can just be grateful for my cats or my comfy bed. Sometimes I can find gratitude for the challenge I’m facing because it’s teaching me. (And, once again, bringing shame to the surface, I can’t find gratitude. Or I forget to. And that’s okay, too.)
And I know that different tools work better at different times. I have over 40 tools I use so I can grab one that usually helps.
On memories. These beliefs are actually memories and emotions that were suppressed. Either from this life time or a previous one. So at some point, I did something and I moved into shame and avoidance and defeat. (Sounds like another lifetime for me this time.)
So. That’s my process.
Sometimes it’s quick. I can see my emotion surface, I can name it and shift it almost immediately.
Other times it’s so deep it takes weeks, months, YEARS to shift. (But I give myself grace because if this is another lifetime, I have no clue how deep or old the original memory is.)
And that’s okay.
*deep breath*
I’m sitting right now in front of Google Keep typing things up. I haven’t even put it on my blog or on instagram or anywhere else and I’m still feeling the tears flowing down my face. This feels different. Me being brave. And honest. This is who I want to be moving forward.
And this memory has been there for literally years and years. And for the first time I’m really feeling it move in a new way.
I love the tools I use SO much!
And I’m loving that they are working for me.
Sending you so much love,
Andi
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